I know one of my first post for the year was about setting my intention for this year and my word was expansion. I think setting intentions is a great concept that I would really like to follow in my life, but limiting my intention to just one word, or limiting my year to just one intention, doesn’t seem like enough.
Expansion should be something I strive for every day for the rest of my life.
One of my intention words from a few years ago was purpose. But just because that year is over (and I forgot a few months later that was even my intention word) doesn’t mean I can’t revisit the word.
I’ll be honest, I had high hopes for this post to be productive and make sense. I was going to connect it back to the book Don’t Keep Your Day Job: How to Turn Your Passion Into Your Career by Cathy Heller and following your passion, as the money will find your way to you. I guess this just wasn’t the case.
I was really inspired by listening to the podcast episode of Black Girl in Om and just listening about Deun talk about her passion and how the rest just fell into place because God had her back and can see the bigger picture. She remained connected to the source and never lost her faith.
And maybe that has been my problem lately. I have been experiencing so much imposter syndrome and I keep questioning why I am being chosen for certain opportunities, like I don’t deserve the opportunities presented to me.
I have been struggling a lot with my faith and what I choose to believe in. I definitely still believe in a higher power, but I still haven’t quite decided what that means for me.
What is my source? I feel like I need to figure the answer to this question to truly understand my purpose. Some days I think I know what my purpose is, but some days I also have my doubts, like yeah, this is a passion of mine, but is this really what I’m being called to do? Was this what I was made for?
And I think this is something that Don’t Keep Your Day Job unintentionally reinforces. I think there is a narrative being pushed in society that people need to just be their own boss and make lots of money and that’s the new American Dream. Captialism’s ugliness is still at play.
And I’m not sure what living comfortable financially and living in your purpose without being bound to monetary gain looks like without the air of capitalism. The world is such a messed-up place. Still trying to think of realistic replacements.
I’m not saying I want to be super rich. I just want to pay off debt, have money for bills and savings, and travel a bit while doing something I love. That’s my dream. But we all can’t be entrepreneurs or start our own non-profit or make money putting crap on the internet.
With the internet as my witness, I will connect back to the source and start listening for that voice leading me toward my purpose. I’ll keep you all updated. For now, I will just keep my day job.